Confucius Sayings

Confucius did not say
Man that is stuck in pantry has his ass in jam.
Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on top of desk
Man who stick foot in mouth get athlete’s tongue!
Man who live in glass house should not throw parties!
Man that go to bed with itchy butt wake up with sticky fingers!
When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth and remove all doubt.
Man with glass house must dress in basement!
Everyone has a photographic memory, some people just don’t have film!
Passionate kiss like spider’s web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.

confucius (2)
He who stands on toilet, is high on pot.
He who makes love in grass, gets piece on earth.
Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
Elevator smell different to midget.
Work to become, not to acquire.
A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
Man who put head on Railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.
Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes will soon burn out!
Don’t drink and park, accidents cause people.
War does not determine who’s right, war determines who’s left.

Man who behaves like an ass will be the butt of those who crack jokes.
Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing
Man who farts in church sits in his own pew!
Hole happy, whole body happy.


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