The Agony of Aging

On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend.
He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.
I said to him,
“You better get your hearing checked You’re supposed to turn your clock back…

An old lady goes to the doctor and says, “I have this problem with frequent gas. Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 10 times since I’ve been here, and I bet you didn’t even notice!”
The doctor says, “I see. Take these pills and come back next week.”
The next week the old lady returns. “Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what the hell you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens.”
The doctor says, “Good! Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing.”

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