10 Things She’s Secretly Thinking About Your Penis

What will be running through her mind the first time you drop pants? We asked real women to share their most memorable first impression of a guy’s goods. Prepare to laugh out loud.
whats 1

Ah, the big reveal—that instant when you finally present her with your (ahem) package. But no matter how heated the moment, you can’t help but wonder: Is she carefully checking out the goods, and if so, do they pass inspection? That’s why we asked women to share their funniest, boldest, happiest, craziest, or most memorable reaction to a man’s penis. Sure, there was the occasional lady who says size matters, but mostly, you’ll find that you can probably relax. Because most women are just completely fascinated by what you’re packing down there…and excited about the impending delivery.

whats 2 purple-plant
“I’ve never seen that shade of purple on a human being before…but the color was just another sign of extreme arousal, so yes, it made a difference. In the best possible way.” —Deanna, 25

whats 3a mushroom head
“There was this guy I went out with for a few months, and the moment I saw his penis, I noticed the head was so big it looked like a mushroom! I actually imagined a Smurf’s house. But surprisingly, it was the most pleasuring penis I’ve ever experienced. He worked that mushroom like magic!” —Stefani, 29

whats 4
“Manscaping should be required! The penis looks much smaller when surrounded by so much shrubbery.” —Erin, 33

whats 4a smoothy
“Smooth, silky, healthy, perfect length and girth—plus he smelled so clean!” —Jessica, 25

whats 5a average
“One boyfriend seemed almost embarrassed that his penis was just average size, and wouldn’t ever let me compliment how much I liked it. But I wasn’t lying—it felt amazing! Guys: When a woman let’s you know how much she loves your package, take the compliment…she probably means it!” —Lisa, 31

whats 6a hairy
“Hairy monster! Seriously, hair is fine, but when your penis gets lost in a thick jungle, it’s time to trim.” —Alyssa, 27

Penis 014
“He’s a grower not a shower, so I was amazed at how big it got—and very happy about it as well!” —Maddie, 32

whats 7a left
“Wow, that’s a harsh left hook. Yes. That may make things very interesting.” —Nicole, 35

penis poster 2
“He unzipped, and out came his magnificent, large, beautiful penis. But all I could think was, ‘My God, his penis is the size of a tree log,’ and, ‘Is this gonna hurt?!’“ —Taryn, 29

penis Micro
“There was a friend with benefits who kept saying how great he was in bed. He spoke about his penis like he was some sort of god, but when he dropped his pants the first time, I found out it was so small. That was the beginning and the end of that. Word to the wise” If you have a small penis, that’s fine, but don’t talk about it like you could part the Red Sea!” —Stephanie, 32

Meeting a man with two penises Was a freak out when he took his pants off I thought he had wierd balls but then came the shock what a night. Eileen 27

two penis
My weirdest and Biggest surprise was a casting for a my new porn movie and my oh my instead of one penis he had two he was my best ever __ Amy 31

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